Listening: How About I Be Me (And You Be You) by Sinead O’Connor

I admit, like everyone else, I kind of figured that Sinead O’Connor was done. I had put her away with musicians that I would always love but from whom I didn’t expect too very much. Though, I was probably one of the twelve people who loved some of the songs from her album Theology, out in 2007. In particular, the song “Something Beautiful” has become one of my all-time favorites — though for some reason I associate it with Christmas time, and always put it on my holiday mixes.

Wow, I’m off topic. This should come as no surprise to those who know me well. Let’s get back to what I really want to talk about, which is her latest, brilliant, wonderful album How About I Be Me (And You Be You). I’ve had the album on constant rotation since an acquaintance of mine (hi, Scott!) mentioned that he couldn’t stop listening to it. Apparently, ‘can’t stop listening to it’ is catching.

One of the main things I noticed about album, and the live performances coming out of it, was that she was in much better voice than I’d heard in recent years. Check out this lovely live performance of one of my favorite songs on the album. It’s an upbeat, beautiful song, and it fills me with happiness whenever I listen to it. I have actually cried thinking about the lyrics of this song. Um, that is because I’m a massive sap who is ridiculously lucky in my life, and I’m fully aware of it. So I am apt to cry, yes, from gratefulness and joy simply hearing this woman sing:

Your smile makes me smile
Your laugh makes me laugh
Your joy gives me joy
and your hope gives me hope

That’s relationship, and love, and live, and I look at my husband and my daughter and I get all teary about it. I hope you do, too. I hope that every last person reading this has someone in their life that they can look at and feel this way about. Because it’s beautiful and every single one of you deserve that with someone — with your child, your mother, your friend, your boyfriend. Someone.

Amazing live performance of “The Wolf is Getting Married”

The production of the album is also fantastic. This is probably best demonstrated on the song “Take Off Your Shoes“. But I’m only linking to it instead of posting it here, because the photograph used in the video is one from at least fifteen or twenty years ago, and it’s a pet peeve of mine to see new, awesome songs by aging female (or male) artists associated with older photographs, as though their aging appearance is unacceptable or a turn-off. But I know that’s just me. Regardless, if you want to hear a beautiful, powerful, spell-binding song with lovely production values click above.

Instead, let’s talk about the next song. The cover of “The Queen of Denmark” by John Grant. Here we have our pissed off Sinead, the one that no album by her would be complete without, but there’s something quite grown-up about this anger, even as it discusses doing something as immature as pissing in someone’s coffee. There’s just this world-weary attitude, this ‘been there, done this ten times’ feel to the anger that feels older to me, less like a person who is thrashing about in massive ‘victim’ mode, or whining that their life just isn’t what they want it to be. Instead, it’s got this legitimate, exhausted anger, and I love it. “Why don’t you take it out on somebody else? Why don’t you bore the shit out of someone else? Why don’t you tell somebody else that they’re selfish?” (Also, I’m not entirely sure that all of this is directed outward. I suspect that Sinead — and many of us — aim such horrible crap at ourselves on a pretty regular basis.)

Cover of “The Queen of Denmark”; it blows the song out of the water in every good way.

The last one I’m linking in this blog post is “Old Lady” and it rivals “The Wolf Is Getting Married” for my favorite song on the album. There’s a lot of kind of creepy stalker lyrics in the verses, hahaha, but the chorus just makes me smile my damn head off. And, for some reason, I just kind of get over the stalker lyrics pretty quickly, because the fact is my husband makes me laugh like an idiot and so I get it, Sinead. I do.

“Old Lady”

I feel like I’ve failed utterly in explaining why this is a great album. It just is. Go buy it. You’ll probably end up listening to it way too much, just like I have.

Oh, and, uh, not from this album, but who wouldn’t love this version of “I Don’t Know How to Love Him“?

Sinead, I’m sorry I doubted you. You rule the world. Thank you for getting older and staying your bad-ass self. I love you.

Be Hotter, Fireman

Be hotter, Fireman. I dare you.

Listening: Rob Me Blind by Jay Brannan

• 1. Purchase Rob Me Blind by Jay Brannan

2. Listen to the full album if you want to make sure that you like it first.

I stole this gorgeous pic from the idolator site linked above. I don’t have any regrets.

Points about Jay Brannan and this album in no particular order:

1. Let me start by mentioning one of the least important and yet most potentially alienating things about Jay Brannan and his album. He’s a gay man and he sings without pretending to be anything else nor does he mess with playing the pronoun game. He always has been unabashedly honest in his lyrics, as far as I know, and I pray he always will. It is so refreshing and, quite frankly, beautiful to hear a gay musician sing blatantly about his loves and passions without trying to make it more ‘palatable’ for straight listeners. I say this as a straight listener, by the way. If someone has a problem with that, then they shouldn’t buy his music and they should go the heck away.

2. Jay Brannan’s voice isn’t all that strong. He’s not a belter and his range isn’t outrageously awesome (though his high notes are pure and surprising), but he knows that and he doesn’t try to pretend like he’s Sinead O’Connor or Tori Amos or Freddie Mercury. He’s Jay Brannan and he’s got a damn good idea of who that is, and he sings really awesome songs that are exactly just right for his range and voice, with lyrics that hook right into a person’s brain and whisper messages that are both from him and from somewhere outside of him and from somewhere inside each listener. In other words, no, he’s not the most amazeballs vocalist ever, but give the guy a chance. He does what he does, and he does it damn well.

“Sub-normal people do supernatural things.
In a world full of demons with white feathered wings,
I feel like I’m open hearted, but it’s a broken range we’re on.
I know I’m not the only one asking where have all the cowboys gone?

Well can’t one of these cowboys come rescue me?
I need a little bit of rope ‘n’ ride to keep me on my feet.”

Everywhere There’s Statues

3. Jay Brannan’s latest album, produced by…uh, let me see…David Kahne (wow, stellar!) makes the most of the power of backing instrumentation choices to compliment Jay’s vocal limitations. (I actually hate to use that word because I think it doesn’t serve him well and minimizes his talent, but that’s the word that is coming to mind.) A fantastic example is on “Greatest Hits” where strings and drums are used in wonderful, subtle, and not subtle ways to push the emotion in the song that Jay’s voice just isn’t ever going to be able to bring entirely on its own. In other words, the production of this latest album is wonderful, and each song has something special in the production that creates an atmosphere that grows more breathtaking with every listen.

Greatest Hits

4. Jay Brannan has OTHER ALBUMS and you should buy them all. But if you can’t afford it, I truly recommend his latest for now, and then when you get paid buy the rest. And, yes, the covers album is so incredibly worth it. Buy it, too.

5. And in additional very important but shallow news about Jay Brannan — he is ridiculously cute. See?

So, to sum up, I’ve been obsessing over this album for going on two weeks and I don’t see an end in sight. I enthusiastically recommend it to all and sundry. Go forth! Spend money! Buy music!

Want to Make Money? Give Them What They Want. Problem Solved.

In recent months, I’ve had a mish-mash of conversations with various people about some media related things that continue to baffle and confuse me. I cannot claim that all ideas within this post originated inside my own head. No doubt some of these thoughts were first espoused by another person participating in the discussion, but I don’t know that any of them actually want the attribution anyway. So, forging ahead!

The worldwide television and movie industry have put their money and energy on shutting down online downloads, branding the people who download their shows as criminals (which perhaps they are; I don’t want to argue that point), and deciding that the thing to do is to try to shut down their behavior by enlisting the help of IP Providers. Here’s what I don’t get:

TELEVISION AND MOVIE INDUSTRY, WHY DON’T YOU JUST GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT?

And, no, I don’t mean just give them content for free. What I mean is, why not meet their actual needs/demands/wants and make a killing? I have as yet to see an earnest attempt from the industry to actually provide the public with what they want, instead they are trying to say, “No, you can only have what you want in the ways that we say you can have it, because the content is ours, ours, ours.” Well, fine, yes, it’s yours, yours, yours, but do you know nothing about human nature? People want what they want when they want it. If you find a way to give them that? You make money.

I remain utterly baffled by the industry’s unwillingness to face the future, stop trying to control the way people want their content delivered, and find a way to give them what they actually want.

He just wants to watch Sherlock right now, before he gets spoiled on Tumblr, ffs!

What do your customers want?

a) They want content now.

Did Sherlock just go off the air on the BBC in England fifteen minutes ago? Guess what? People in the States want it now. They don’t want it in a year when it comes on BBC America, or whatever. They don’t want it in two hours. They want access to it now. And it’s not just people in the States. It’s folks in Germany, Australia, Japan, Canada, South America, etc, the world over!

So, wow. Here’s an idea. Provide them with your show now! Don’t make them wait. Because guess, what? Hackers gonna hack. They’re smarter than you. They’ve proved that again and again, and they will find a way around your attempts to strong arm them into being spoon fed your content on your schedule.

So, a hint to the wise! Stop saying, “That’s entitled behavior! You’re not entitled to my content! I can give it to you how I want because it is mine!” Okay, fine. That’s how you want to play it? All right. Then don’t be surprised when you have people stealing your product instead of obtaining it legally from you. Is it right for them to steal it? No. But you know what? People don’t always do the right thing, and many billions of dollars have been made by providing people with alternate ways of getting what they want without breaking a law. Figure that out.

b) They want content when they want it, whenever they want it, or even weeks from now.

They don’t want content to disappear on them. They live in a busy world. They have all the other input in their lives coming to them on demand, and they want their television the same way.

For example, in the U.S., ABC allows for people to watch some of their shows legally via streaming on their site. This is flawed in several ways — one, they make you wait to watch the show. You can’t see it as soon as it has aired on the television. But, more importantly, they only allow six episodes of any show up at one time. But there’s a problem. Some people get busy for months on end, and then when they want to legally catch up with their show? They can’t because ABC has taken down the episodes from the beginning of the season. They have to wait until the season comes out on DVD. Meanwhile, their friends at the water cooler or on Facebook are going on and on about how Once Upon A Time was amazeballs last night, omg, and next thing you know someone’s illegally downloading something.

I maintain that had there been a reasonable option for that content, one that actually met the wants of the content-provider’s customers, a person wouldn’t even be tempted to do that kind of thing.

Why not provide your customers what they want? More importantly, what is so hard to understand about what they want? Why does the industry act like they simply can’t figure out how to deliver the goods or how people want their content delivered? Technologically there is nothing to stop them from meeting their customer’s desires for immediate content that doesn’t disappear. It is possible, so make it happen! It’s as though the industry thinks that people are out there saying, “I just love stealing! Eeee!” And, sure, probably a few are, but the majority would like a legal way to have their wants/needs met in terms of media delivery.

It has always been my understanding that business is about finding out what people want — and then giving it to them! Instead, what we’re seeing with the dinosaur of the television and movie industry is that they’re trying to control what people want. That doesn’t work. It simply does not work, and the sooner they figure that out, the sooner they can start to make money instead of being the victims of theft.

The industry must willing to let go of the revenue stream they had planned so as to have the revenue stream that is waiting for them.

So, television and movie industry! Take note! More than 99% of people who download do not get some gleeful joy out of stealing something they’re not supposed to have access to. Most of them just want what they want, when they want it, and, yes, that’s entitled, but stop giving a damn about that, and find a way to make money by providing them with your content now. Stop trying to prosecute and criminalize and control, and instead embrace your customer and give him/her big sloppy wet kisses full of what they want. Surely that can’t be so very damn hard.

And then, everyone wins.

The Book of Imaginary Beings: Mirror Animals

Bikini Bird is in love with Jorge Luis Borges’ book The Book of Imaginary Beings; she peruses it while using the toilet. It is, in fact, the perfect toilet book for the whole family, just so you know. It’s got pictures for kids and short entries about amazing imaginary beings for adults and kids-of-reading-age alike.

At her current age, the vocabulary is at times too advanced for Bikini Bird, so I end up reading some of the entries to her, and explaining them a bit. There are entries I skip, though, because while they might not be too frightening for her, they are too frightening for me. I kid. Kind of.

For example, the entry about Animals Which Live In Mirrors:

The Emperor pushed back the invaders, imprisoned them within the mirrors, and punished them by making them repeat, as though in a kind of dream, all the actions of their human victors. He stripped them of their strength and their own shape and reduced them to mere servile reflections. One day, however, they will throw off that magical lethargy.

The first to awaken shall be the Fish. In the depths of the mirror, we shall perceive a faint, faint line, and the color of that line will not resemble any other. Then, other forms will begin to awaken. Gradually they will become different from us; gradually they will no longer imitate us; they will break through the barriers of glass or metal, and this time they will not be conquered. Water-creatures will battle alongside mirror-creatures.

That doesn’t seem that scary, does it? Well, that’s because you are not in my mind, and you don’t understand — I have mirrors in my house, people! I don’t particularly want to look into them and see fish, or tigers, or mirror-creatures! I played Bloody Mary as a child! I have a vivid imagination! I started reading Lisey’s Story by Stephen King and couldn’t finish it because of the sheer terror! (For those who don’t know, it is a book about a terrifying thing that lives in mirrors and gets you! And I bought the book because I’d read that it was Stephen King’s foray into literature, so I thought it wouldn’t be scary. a) it was not literature, and b) it was scary!)

And yet…I do find the idea of another world within mirrors intriguing, mystifying, and kinda desperately intoxicating. I’d like to write a story about it, and I very well may. It would fit well into the Fairytale series, and so, like many things that frighten me (like documentaries on serial killers), I feel a draw to it that might require some exploration. It could be a very sexy story – a mirror lover. (I do not, however, think that a serial killer story is necessary, nor do I think that would be sexy. Do you hear me, brain? I do not need to work through that terror via erotica. Okay? Okay. It would be wrong.)

There is another beautiful association that I have with things that live in mirrors. Back in my youth, I was (and remain) a pretty big fan of one Jennifer Jane Niceley, and she had this song called “Siamese Twin” (uh, at least I think that was the name) and it was all about the ‘other’ that lives inside of us, the not nice one, the terrible, terrifying one, the one we try to kill, who humiliates us, or horrifies us. The only lyric I can remember comes after she has battled the demon down, and thought that she’d defeated it, but “she still shows up in shiny spoons and dark dinner plates.” How gorgeous is that? How haunting? How evocative? I would love to hear that song again, but I doubt that I ever will. She doesn’t perform it anymore.

Oh, Jennifer, you are so lovely.

Are you intrigued or frightened by the things that you might find in a mirror? Do you think that the evil twin who shows up in shiny spoons and dark dinner plates is worth making peace with, or do you want to destroy her forever? Did Stephen King’s Lisey’s Story scare the bejeebus out of you? Or did you find it tame and lame? Do you think serial killer fears should be explored in erotica? Do you think Jennifer Niceley has a beautiful voice? Do you want to buy her music? Please do!

“When there is nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.”

Recently, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to the idea of burning bridges. I’ve spent most of my life trying to keep all bridges intact at all times. Sometimes, that’s a frantic business. Sometimes it feels like you’re trying to repair a bridge that the other party is actively working to disable, but they haven’t had the guts to just torch the thing yet. And sometimes they are, all the while, yelling from their side of the bridge, “Oh, no, I’m not trying to take this bridge down! I love being able to get to where you are and for you to be able to come to me! I love it!” And then you see them lift up their sledgehammer and, wham, take out several big planks.

I’ve always wanted to be the person to make amends, to fix things, to scramble over to the new hole in the bridge and hammer some new boards into place because, woe, people have bad days, and they just said they didn’t mean to bring the bridge down!

But, no more. Well, I mean, of course there are some relationships that I’m always going to try to scramble over that bridge and make repairs, but there are others where I’m just not going to do that anymore. And not only that — I’m not going to stand there with my back turned to a tumble-down bridge and wonder if they’re ever going to make any effort to fix it, or if they might try to sneak across despite the damage done. No. From now on, in those situations, I’m going to get some fucking gasoline, soak the damn thing, and light a match.

Poof!

Bye bye bridge. See ya never, bridge.

These bridges won’t burn themselves. That was a new thought to me, folks. Maybe it shouldn’t have been, but it was. In the past I’d often thought of burnt bridges as somewhat of an accident. Like, you screw up so badly in your interactions with the person, that you destroy the bridge between you. It never really occurred to me to think that, no, these bridges don’t burn themselves. A person has to do it. Otherwise, they are just those bridges of disrepair that I mentioned above. To burn them, you’ve got to make that strong and irreversible choice. It’s a move that a person makes of their own volition, and it’s action, not passivity. It’s doing, and owning what you’re doing. It’s hardcore.

And I kinda love it.

Which brings us to the choice to do it. As the quote above says, it’s a hard thing to know which bridges you should work to cross and which ones you should burn. In the past, too afraid of making a mistake, I’ve basically just refused to burn any if I could keep from it. This meant that I had a ton of tumble down bridges connected to my island, none of which were being accessed in ways that benefited me, and many that were never going to be accessed again, but because I’d not lit fire to them, they were a distracting, ugly mess of broken connections that occasionally grabbed my attention and caused me anxiety or pain.

So the time came to choose which ones to torch. At this point, I can definitively say that some of the bridges I’ve burned were burned simply because I was done with being okay with having a broken-down bridge pulling my attention away from my life — not because the person was mean, wrong, bad, or anything else. And a few of those bridges, I pondered for a while as I soaked them in gasoline, and considered, “Are my reasons for doing this sound? Are they selfish reasons? Are they bad reasons?” And what I realized in the end is that they are mixed up reasons, and it will never be clear, but what is clear is that I’m done. We’re done. There’s no going back, and I don’t want to pretend that there is.

So…gasoline. Match. Poof. Bye bye bridge. Hello, clear and beautiful shore on my island to fill with a new connection, or even just revel in the openness of it all.

For what it’s worth, what I’m mainly talking about in this post is the idea that there can be a healthy burning of bridges. That’s a thought that never occurred to me before. I’m not talking about the burning of bridges where you act like a six year old screaming, “I’m not gonna be your friend anymore! I’m taking my toys and going home!” I’m talking about a reasoned, empowered, honest burning of bridges, done mostly within your own head. This is healthy. I finally get that. I approve.

Of course we don’t want to act like a child, or do something hurtful. But being well and truly done with another person, even for bad reasons, is a healthy action to take. And, for me, it’s a new concept. I know! At thirty-seven you’d think I’d have more experience with it, but I don’t. I’m learning all of this now. And it’s beautiful.

Burning bridges – light my way to freedom!

The Stars song the title of this post is taken from. It fits the post, too. Worth a listen.

“I’m not sorry I met you
I’m not sorry it’s over
I’m not sorry there’s nothing to say.”

What Happens When A Person Has Sex with Fairies?

Last night, six year old Bikini Bird asked me, “Mom, why, in the old days, did women have to wear dresses all of the time? And what would happen to them if they didn’t?”

I told her that it was the culture of the time and I hedged a bit about what might happen if the women didn’t wear dresses. I told her, “Well, since it was considered the rule of the culture back then, if she didn’t, she might be shunned. Do you know what that means? It means they would ignore her, and not talk to her anymore.”

I did not add, “If she was lucky.” I did not say, “They might brutalize her or murder her for daring to wear a pants, for ‘impersonating a man’, for not providing easy access to what they believed belonged to them, for being different and other than the norm.” I did not tell her that it is theorized that women continued to wear dresses once men had started to wear pants because they were the garb of children and women were considered to be the same as children, and that both were considered property of the male – something that could be bought and sold. I did not tell her that men might have raped a woman for wearing pants, to put her in her place, or murdered her as a lesson to others. Or prosecuted her as a witch.

I did not tell her these things still happen today, and that they are happening to her in tiny ways that add up every time she internalizes the message that what matters about girls is what they look like. She’s too young to have her current world view, so full of possibility and confidence, shattered all at once, and we’ve come far enough now that letting her dream her dreams isn’t as dangerous as it once was. It is marginally safer, though still not altogether safe, to hope that she’ll get to live her dreams, and not have her sexuality, her womb, her body, and her life dictated entirely by people who want to rein it in and break it.

Wait, I know what you’re saying. I got into this post for the title. Sex with fairies! Where’s the sex with fairies? Come on, woman! Deliver!

Fairy King
I would totally let him abduct me a little bit. Oh, yes, I would.

In my recent research on fairy tales, I started to look into historical fairy lore and the way that fairies and the concept of them have been treated historically in the past. In today’s time, most people would concur that fairies are made-up, fictional creatures. (Note that I say ‘most’ not ‘all’ because some Pagans, Wiccans, etc, believe in the fae folk today.) But, not even two hundred years ago, people took fairies really seriously. Like deadly seriously.

These dead guys aren’t too serious, but we needed something to break up the serious tone.

Take the case of Bridget Clearly who, in the late 1800s, was killed by her husband because he believed she had been abducted by fairies and returned as a changeling. The post I just linked to is some fascinating reading, but I will pull out a relevant quotes:

In Bridget Cleary we have a woman who is seen as other, an outsider in her community because of her differences, differences which are particularly marked for a woman in nineteenth century Ireland where an assertive, opinionated and financially independent woman without children is very much seen as an anomaly. In the March 29, 1895 Cork Examiner special report on her death, the reporter, having interviewed locals, describes Bridget as

“a bit queer” in her ways, and this they attribute to a certain superiority over the people with whom she came into contact . . . Her attire . . . is not that of every woman in the same social plane (Bourke 2000, 43).

The Digital Medievalist goes on to discuss how the ‘cure’ that Bridget endured at her husband’s hands amounted to oral rape, as she was restrained and hurtful objects thrust into her mouth against her will.

Another quote:

Bridget Cleary was perceived as dangerous and engaging in risky behavior; Michael Cleary objected to her going to the rath, and did all he could to “bring her back.” Underlying his frantic, desperate efforts, almost certainly, was the fear that Bridget might not want to come back. In court testimony from Johanna Burke, Bridget is said to have told her husband, shortly before he set her on fire, “Your mother used to go with the fairies, and that is why you think I am going with them.” Michael Cleary asked Bridget, “Did my mother tell you that?” She said, “She did; that she gave two nights with them” (Folklore 1895, 375). There’s a very definite sexual connotation to “she gave two nights with them,” particularly given the numerous references to fairies taking mortal lovers in medieval literature and folklore.

The sexual nature behind the accusation that a woman has been abducted by fairies is clear. Women who might be perceived as possibly having a lover, of perhaps making a choice that includes sexual congress with an otherworld creature, or simply an ‘other’ human period, was too dangerous to allow to exist in the world. Any defiance had to be thwarted and throttled, and if necessary destroyed, even if it took the body of the woman with it. In Bridget’s case, she was eventually burned alive for being different.

This post may have focused on women, but it is true of boys and men who in any way break society’s rules for them, too, and perhaps dare to look like women. The world isn’t safe for anyone in this world who breaks the assigned gender norms – not then, and sadly not now either.

So, sweet Bikini Bird, my dear, back in the old days, when they shunned a woman, it didn’t mean that they just didn’t talk to her and that ‘nothing bad really happened to them’ as you put it. If a woman didn’t wear a dress or follow her gender norms to a T, she might have been ‘othered’ to the point of being seen as dangerous in society’s eyes. They might have decided she was raped by fairies and changed entirely from a human woman to a thing to be destroyed.

Sweet Bikini Bird, the truth is that happens even still. The truth is we humans are still cruel and vicious like that. The truth is we might no longer blame our fear and rage on fairies, as in the things with wings, but we do still sometimes blame it on fairies, as in boys who like boys, or on dykes, girls who like girls. Sweet Bikini Bird, sex with fairies is still rife with danger because of human fear of the ‘other’, and women who don’t wear dresses are still seen as ‘wrong’ and ‘too masculine’. Just look at Hillary Clinton and her pantsuits.

Oh, my darling child, people who are ‘different’ are at risk today of being killed by others hands or by their own in utter despair. This world, Bikini Bird, still needs so much more love. But I’m not ready for you to see yet just how unkind this world truly is at times. Let me instead fail to disagree with your assertion that today nothing truly bad happens to girls who wear pants…as I watch you put on your dress for school.

Simplify: Curing the ‘Yes’ Disease

Reading: Brave New Love: 15 Dystopian Tales of Desire

Recently I’ve been on a book bender. Unlike an alcohol bender, where you end up saying all kinds of shit you wish you hadn’t, slurring your words, pointing your finger when you talk, and sometimes puking up your guts, a book bender is more like a calorie-less version of grabbing handfuls of cake and shoving it in your mouth, careless of how it smears on your cheeks and into your eyelashes. Nom, nom, nom, boooooooks! Must consume more boooooooks! Yummy books, with yummy words, oh, God, feed more more!

Give me more!

My book bender began when I was down with a pneumonia/mono double whammy and completely high on some codeine cough syrup that my doctor prescribed for me. All I can say about that stuff is that there were several times I found myself thinking, “Damn good thing that I’m not an addict, because this codeine stuff is the bomb.” I also managed to do things on this cough syrup like get a massive, huge bruise on the top of my foot that was extremely painful and very ugly, with absolutely no memory of doing something to cause it. I also apparently ordered ten Kindle books, and nine actual paper books while doped up on.

I’m not being monogamous at all during my book bender, and I’ve been smashing my face into the pages of books both digital and paper with almost no discrimination lately – Greek myths, fairy tales of Russia, Ireland, England, and Romania, a book about the brothers Grimm, still reading Deathless, still crazy about The Book of Imaginary Beings, and I also picked up a wonderful Adrienne Rich volume of poetry with a poem on page one that packs quite a punch. Nom nom nom, words! Give ‘em to me!

Imagine the goddess in this picture is me, and that the puppies are books, and that rather than sitting peacefully with them, I’m devouring them madly, smearing their bookliness all over my face and hands.

One of the books I codeine-ordered from Amazon, I have no recollection of ordering at all, to the point that I half suspect that they just stuffed it into my Amazon box and charged me for it for fun because they psychically knew that I was high on codeine when I placed the rest of my order. The name of that one is Brave New Love: 15 Dystopian Tales of Desire edited by Paula Guran. I have a vague, very fuzzy recollection of thinking to myself, “You know, you should really learn to curtail your words. Your word counts are too high. You should take a crash course in short fiction. Buy a bunch of short stories!” Perhaps this book came from that train of thought? Regardless, I own it now, and in the midst of my book bender, I started smashing the book to my face (symbolically; I don’t need to give myself a black eye from book-love) and nom nom noming on it in tiny snatches of time over the last week.

I can’t say that the entire book is delicious, but of the two stories I’ve read so far, one is fairly good, and the other was really quite fantastic.

I’ll start with the fairly good and move on to the quite fantastic.

The first was Beserker Eyes by Maria V. Snyder. Set in a future where gene tweaking has left some with a ‘beserker’ gene, teens are held in what amount to prisons until it is determined whether or not they are a risk to society. All in all, the story was engaging enough. Though, I’m assuming in order to meet a short story word-count, there did seem to be some rather sweeping violations of ‘show don’t tell’. I felt that it ended abruptly, and I thought that it made a better beginning to a longer novel than a short story. Perhaps Ms. Snyder will want to explore this universe more. I think that a longer, full-fledged novel that dealt with the events of the short story and the aftermath would be worth reading. Then again, I’m not familiar with her writing, and perhaps she already has done something larger with this concept. Or maybe this was just something she needed to get out, and for her it ended where, to me as a reader, it should have began.

The second story was Foundlings by Diana Peterfreund. In a world where the ‘birther’ movement has gone too far, teenage girls are taken in as soon as they are discovered to be pregnant – ‘for their own good’ and to mitigate risk to the unborn child. In a few short pages, Peterfreund introduces us to this world in a way that is organic, natural, and mostly believable. The relationships between the three characters are compelling and by the end of the short story, I was invested in all of them, proud of all of them, and emotionally moved by all of three of them. It really is a very beautiful story, and I anticipate that I’ll read it again.

I’ll let you know as I continue to read like a glutton if there are other stories in this anthology that might make it worth the cover price. As it is, I don’t regret my codeine purchase. Not at all.

ETA: I have since read The Salt Sea and the Sky by Elizabeth Bear. It was another situation where I felt like the short story was actually the beginning of something more. It was well written and I was curious about the characters, but at the end I was much more interested in what might happen next than in what had actually transpired so far. Still, it was well-written enough to make me look up Elizabeth Bear on Amazon, and I found that she is the co-author of the wolf books that I heard so much about a few years back. I went ahead and bough the first wolf book for my kindle and am pondering buying one of the Promethean Age books, but the $18.99 for the Kindle edition ($24.00 for the paperback) is a bit steep, especially given the book bender I’ve been on, I probably should wait. The wolf book was at least more reasonably priced.