One thought on “A Gay Dad Sounds Off on Foster Care/Adoption: The Five Reasons Why You Don’t Want to Do It, and the Five Greater Reasons Why You Do

  1. He sure made some great points. My sister-in-law had four kids of her own and decided to open a daycare, but got so frustrated when she had family obligations (hockey practice, ringette, etc) that were delayed because some inconsiderate parent would not pick up their child at the designated time. After a discussion with her husband, they agreed to take in foster kids. They still had lots of love to give these children (as well as patience and energy) and they would not have to worry that parents weren’t picking them up. They could just bring the kids with them.

    They started with one adorable little girl, then took on a baby girl who had been so neglected the child had spent so much time crying that she wrecked her vocal folds and could not speak above a whisper for the longest time. Each girl came from different child care agencies with different rules required for the mothers to get their children back.

    The first girl’s mom would get family visits, so my sister-in-law would take the little girl to see her mom and brothers. While the brothers were terrorizing the facility and taking all the mom’s attention, the little girl felt the only way to get her mom’s attention was to wet her pants. Sis-in-law suspected this was the reason and asked the little girl why she wet her pants there when she didn’t at home. The girl confirmed her suspicions, so Sis-in-law told her if she wanted attention, she just had to ask when she got home and she’d get all the attention she needed. Eventually, the mom completed the required rehab. The hardest day Sis-in-law ever faced was the day she had to hand the little girl back to her birth mother.

    The second girl’s mom had been through the foster system, tossed around from one family to the next (and in some cases abused), and didn’t want her child to go through that. She wrote a letter to her agency to make sure that if they found a suitable home for her little girl that she would not be taken out because they found a proper ‘native’ family to take her. The mom met with Sis-in-law, saw the home environment and immediately approved the unlimited stay of her daughter. Her agency also required a longer rehab program be completed before getting her children back and she must also be safe from previous relationships in her life that had been abusive and potentially bad for her and the kids.

    Sis-in-law now has two more young foster kids, a brother & sister, along with the second girl who has been with them for 12 years (I think). She says fostering has been the best thing that’s happened to their family, despite the fact that these last two have some health and behavior issues. They are loved by the whole family – and believe me when I tell you, I married into a BIG family! So they are growing up in the best environment possible. I hope more people with love in their hearts will consider adopting or fostering. There are so many kids that need kind, safe environments in which to live.

    Sorry I was so long-winded! 🙂

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