Larry Benjamin has a great blog post up asking “Is Homosexuality Really Just About Sexual Identity?”

To quote:

I put forth the notion that “being gay, lesbian, homosexual is about attraction, it’s about who you want to hold hands with, who you want to go to prom with, who you want to build a life with. Sex is an outgrowth of attraction, an expression of something. And yes, sometimes it’s just a primal urge but surely not all the time, not every time, not exclusively.”

It’s a topic I’ve been thinking about recently myself, but had never gone so far as to spell it out in the way that Mr. Benjamin has done so well. I’d been thinking more along the lines of, “Maybe it’s time we stop thinking about it as homosexual and consider it homoamorous.”

The definition of the word ‘amorous’ includes sexuality but more largely encompasses the idea of falling in love. To me, that seems more descriptive of the majority of gay and lesbian experiences.

2 thoughts on “Homosexual or Homoamorous

  1. Hi Leta

    Thanks for picking up my blog post. I think your wording is interesting because being homo–or even hetero–is about so much more than just sex. I’ve always beb a fan of te h”likes boys/likes girls” tee shirts because again the focus is on who you like rather than who you want to do the deed with.

    Thanks for keeping the conversation going.

    1. Hi, Larry. I loved your commentary and it resonated with a lot of my own recent thoughts on the matter. I agree that it is about so much more than sex–it’s about attraction, liking, amorous feelings, who you want to build a life with, etc. While sex often plays a big role in that, it’s not what’s most important in the end. It seems unfortunate that this debate about rights has focused on what people do with their vaginas and dicks (to be crude) rather than on what kinds of lives people want to build with the people they love. Sometimes I think changing the actual word we use to discuss it would be helpful.

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