I’ve been married a number of years now, and early on in our marriage, before we had a kid, we used to sometimes sign up for fun summer courses at the local university. Once we did Yoga, once we did Tai Chi, and once we did Life Drawing. See, my husband is an artist, and we both thought it would be fun to take a Life Drawing class together. Note that I said my husband is an artist. I am decidedly not. But I’m fine with that and was eager to improve my meager skills.
When we’d been in college, we’d been friends with this super-tall, super-gorgeous Norwegian fellow who often modeled for Life Drawing courses. He had told us that he got a kick out of walking around during the break to see what people had drawn. He said, “Women never draw my penis. They draw all around it, but it’s like they’re embarrassed or something, and they never actually draw it.”
So, when I signed us up for this class, I was determined to draw the actual penis if I was presented with one. I was not going to be a namby-pamby kind of woman who could not bring herself to stare long enough at a stranger’s cock draw it. I would tackle the cock! Bravely! Without any fear or embarrassment!
Alas, our model was a large woman with many folds and flaps, and you couldn’t see her nether regions, so I didn’t have to decide if I wanted to draw her pubes or not. I was fine with that, though, I did wish we’d had our old Norwegian friend as a model. He had a super-fine body and I would’ve enjoyed looking at it.
One day, we came into the class and this super-nerdy guy came in. The instructor announced that we had a new model and then sent the nerdy guy off to change into his robe. I didn’t say anything to the mister, but I was a bit disappointed. We finally get a male model and he’s nerdy and goofy. Not at all my dream life drawing model.
Nerdy comes out of the back with his robe, climbs onto the little stage in the middle of the room, and drops the robe over the back of the chair.
Oh. My. God.
His motherfucking BODY.
It was amazing. Like wow.
I flushed. Heat rose up through me in an uncontrollable wave. I felt lightheaded. I couldn’t really breathe. I had to busy myself with my pencils and paper because I was about to pass out on the floor from the sheer freaking HOTNESS of him.
Damn, nerds! Who knew?
So, I realized that I was being really obvious by just standing there messing with my pencils and not looking at him. Everyone else was drawing, and I was going to draw, too, damn it! As I lifted my pencil to make my first mark on the paper, I recalled what our Norwegian friend had said about women being unwilling to draw his penis. Well, that wasn’t going to be me! I was going to draw that damn thing! In fact, I was going to draw it FIRST!
So, with brave determination, I raised my eyes upon his holy hotness and drew his damn dick. Yes. Yes, I did.
And it was massive. The drawing, I mean, not the dick. I mean, it was a good-sized dick, nothing shabby, kind of nice and long, and meaty. Yeah. It was good dick. But on my drawing, Jesus, now that was a DICK.
I proceeded to draw Nerdy all around his dick, and when it was over, my husband came over to look at my paper and he almost fell down laughing. Because, yes, my friends, the dick was entirely disproportionate to Nerdy’s body, and I looked like a total perv.
Oh, well, at least that part was accurate. I am a total perv.
Nerdy did come around and glance at everyone’s papers, but I refused to look at him, so I have no idea how he reacted.
Somewhere in this house, I still have that drawing. Oh, giant dick of Nerdy, you are my masterpiece.
Sadly, that was our last class, so I never saw hot, nerdy boy’s nakedness again. I think my heart thanked me for it. It possibly could not have withstood another assault of so much ridiculous, and normally hidden, sexiness. Dayum, son.