In a book where sexual activities promoted and illustrated character growth and, ultimately, the denouement of the character arc, it was imperative that I “stick the landing” for the final, reunion sex scene. The trouble was…that didn’t come easily.
In the first draft of the book,the reunion sex scene was pretty much just a complete fade-to-black. I wanted something warm and intimate, something loving and gentle, and the characters weren’t interested in showing it to me. It was baffling. They’d shown me everything under the sun up until that moment, why were they holding back now?
I hoped that maybe the reunion sex wasn’t really necessary. Maybe that was why they weren’t showing it to me, because no one needed to see it. I sent it off to my beta readers and, without fail, all of them commented that, hey, we really need to see this reunion sex.
So, I sat down and forced my way through it. I wrote and wrote and wrote. The characters just wouldn’t behave, though. They laughed, they joked, they didn’t have hot sex, instead they just had weird-but-okay sex. I’m going to post that sex below because I thought it might be funny or of interest to some people to see the original scene. So, look for it behind the cut.
I sent it off to my chief beta reader, Jed, thinking, “Well, I tried my damnedest and maybe this is okay.”
No. It wasn’t okay. It was just wrong and off and not hot.
So, I sat down again and I asked myself “Where’s the lie in this scene?” Because I read somewhere some pretty great advice by some author–and how horrible is it that I’ve forgotten who said it or where I read this advice?–that if you’re stalled in a book or scene, it’s because you’re making the characters tell a lie.
I went back over the scene and asked myself, “What’s the genuine response of Rob to this situation? What’s he been like in the past when confronted with this kind of behavior/frustration from Matty?” And I realized, yes, I’d been making them lie about their reunion sex–that was why it’d felt so off and false.
That realization meant I had to go back up into the story and change some other key issues so that the activities could take place as they needed to. Then I re-wrote it and all the beta readers agreed, “Yes, this is what happened. Of course it is.”
I’ll let you buy the book to discover what the reunion sex ended up looking like, but for now, as promised, here’s the lie version behind the cut.
MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR THE END OF CERTAIN STORY LINES WITHIN TRAINING SEASON ARE REVEALED IN THE FOLLOWING CUT SCENE!
The kiss was rough, almost angry, and Matty submitted to it, letting Rob bend him and fold him, lift him, and carry him to the bed.
As Rob tore at Matty’s sweater and leggings, Rob said, “You better not be fucking with me, Matty.”
“I’m not,” Matty said. “I’m absolutely not, and be careful! This sweater is really expen—oh, my God…fuck it, yes…”
They didn’t make it far. They had their clothes almost off when Matty lost control and came, arching up from the bed, and making a nice mess between their bodies. Rob bit down on Matty’s collar bone and shook through his own orgasm, his strong hands clinging to Matty’s biceps, probably leaving bruises.
“I love you,” Matty whispered as Rob wrapped his arms around him tightly, breathing in the scent of Matty’s neck. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Rob shook in his arms and then moved off him, laying on his side with his leg resting over Matty’s thighs and his head on the pillow by Matty’s. Matty’s feet were still trapped in his leggings, but he didn’t want to move. He stared at Rob’s face, adoring his green eyes, taking in the freckles on Rob’s nose, and the glint of stubble along his jaw.
“You are so beautiful,” Matty said. “I’ve missed everything about you.”
Rob traced over Matty’s ear, his cheek, and nose, and then down to his mouth. Matty kissed his fingertips. “You make me crazy,” Rob murmured. “You always have.”
“I always will,” Matty solemnly promised and Rob chuckled, pulling him closer.
“I’m counting on it.”
“So many times I just wanted you to tell me I should quit and come home to you. I’ve always thought that you were my home, Rob. The place I needed to find a way to come back to. Please tell me I can stay.”
Rob skimmed his hand down Matty’s chest, running the the sparse hair and then down to his belly button, swirling around it and dipping inside. “You better stay,” Rob said. “You already said you would.”
“I’m going stay and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Matty grinned.
“Such a scary threat.”
“I’ll stay so hard you beg for mercy.”
Rob laughed and gripped Matty’s hip, pulling him closer so that they were face-to-face. Something in the way he moved Matty caused a sharp pain to flare in his hip. Matty hissed and moved to ease the discomfort.
Concern washed over Rob’s face. He sat up on his elbow and ran one finger down to explore the scars on Matty’s hip. He’d seen them before, many times, but this time he touched them as a lover.
“I’m sorry. That was too rough.”
“I like it rough,” Matty reminded him.
“Not right now, you don’t. You need to heal.”
Matty sighed and kissed Rob, rubbing his cheek along Rob’s, scraping their stubble together. Rob spooned him, tucking his body around Matty’s, breathing softly in his ear. “There’s this cool thing that an old boyfriend of mine taught me. Want to try it?”
Matty stiffened slightly. This moment between them was intimate, special; he didn’t want anyone else mentioned right now and he definitely didn’t want to try something Rob had learned from an ex.
“It’s called whuffling,” Rob said. “And it goes something like this.”
Matty laughed and struggled, but Rob was bigger than he was and he didn’t really want to escape. Rob rolled him onto his back and ended the whuffle attack by kissing him senseless.
Matty wrapped his arms around Rob and held on tight. Rob gazed at him and reached out to touch his face. “I honestly can’t believe you’re really here with me.”
“I honestly can’t believe I ever left.”
Rob rubbed his thumb under Matty’s chin, dragging against the dark stubble that grew in patchily. “You did what you had to do. Some part of it had to be worth it or you would’ve quit.”
“I don’t know.”
“That moment after your free skate at the Olympics. Wasn’t that beautiful?”
Matty reached out to press his hand against Rob’s chest, feeling the beat of his heart. “If I get to have this, here with you, then, yes, having that moment, which was truly amazing before it all went to hell—“
Rob shushed him. “Just remember how good that moment was. You were on center ice and you’d just nailed your performance. The crowd was screaming. I was screaming.”
“Me, Ben, Anja—we were all crying and hugging each other. It was beautiful. We were so proud.” Rob’s cheeks flushed slightly and he gazed at Matty solemnly. “I was so damn in love with you in that moment. Remember that, Matty. Remember that.”
Matty gently curled his fingers through Rob’s chest hair and whispered, “I didn’t get a medal.”
“I’d rather have you.”
“Are you sure?”
Matty’s throat was tight. “Yes.”
“You fought really hard, though, and you deserve a reward,” Rob said, his fingers trailing down Matty’s bicep.
Matty flattened his hand against Rob’s chest again, overwhelmed to feel the beat against his palm. “Are you offering yourself up?”
“Your personal, living trophy,” Rob said.
“The paparazzi will love you,” Matty whispered, tracing Rob’s pecs, drawing a circle around first one nipple, and then the other. “When they ask who you are to me, I’ll just call you my gold medal.”
Rob chuckled. “Better earn it, then.”
Matty smiled softly and said, “You doubt that I can?”
“I know you can, sweetheart. I’m counting on it.”
Rob kissed him again and then pulled away, reaching into the bedside drawer for a box of condoms. Matty felt a strange sense of relief that it was unopened.Rob had to struggle with the cardboard for a moment before breaking them free. He put the packet and a partially used bottle of lube on the bed beside them and gathered Matty up in his arms again. Rob teased his tongue around the shell of Matty’s ear.
“Don’t make me wait,” Matty begged. “You’ve tortured me enough, haven’t you?”
“Hello? You faked a boyfriend and then said you didn’t want me anymore.”
“I never said that.”
“You sort of did.”
“Sweetheart, I always want you.”
Rob kissed his mouth, his neck, and his nipples, and then he slid down lower, pressing his lips against Matty’s body as he went. “You’re still put together so beautifully,” he murmured, and then he kissed the small surgery scars on Matty’s hip, and licked them gently. “Every single part of you.”
His mouth on Matty’s dick was amazing and Matty reached down to finger through Rob’s soft curls, happy that he’d come so fast earlier because he wanted to enjoy it slowly now.
Rob worked his balls and his cock, moving Matty’s thighs and hips carefully to get better angles, and then he licked lower, tonguing his hole rapidly. Matty lifted his legs but the angle hurt his hip and he couldn’t hide it. He was disappointed when Rob pulled away and kissed back up his body.
“Roll onto your left side,”Rob murmured, his breath hot on Matty’s chest where he licked Matty’s nipple and then kissed up toward his neck.
Matty didn’t ask why, confident that even if it wasn’t rimming, he was going to love whatever happened next. Rob moved up behind him, opened the condom and rolled it on, and Matty realized that Rob was going to fuck him now.
“Aren’t you going to wrap me up?” Matty asked, pulling at the blankets.
“Next time,” Rob said, bending low to kiss Matty’s shoulder and the sensitive back of his neck as he pushed lubricated fingers into Matty’s ass.
“Just get in me,” Matty demanded. “You’re taking so long. “
“Who’s in charge here, sweetheart? Me or you?”
“Me,” Matty said and laughed when Rob swatted his butt.
Rob didn’t argue with him, though, sliding into place and pressing inside. “God, sweetheart, so fucking good.”
“Yeah,” Matty whispered, breathing shallowly, his heart racing. It had been a long time. The stretch was intense and he felt a wave of hot chills race up his spine as he squirmed on Rob’s cock.
Matty wrapped his arms around Rob’swhich held him tightly. “Oh my God, I love you.”
Rob held Matty tightly, plowing into Matty’s ass with long, firm strokes that made Matty whimper. Matty turned his head, feeling Rob’s breath against his cheek. He moaned softly and gripped Rob’s cock, loving the way it filled him. Now, with Rob buried so deep, it seemed ludicrous that they’d ever fought it. This was where they were both complete, where they both needed to be.
“All right?” Rob asked. “I don’t want to hurt your hip.”
“It’s good.” He shifted and trembled as Rob’s cock pressed against his prostate.
“Right there, huh?” Rob murmured stroking in again.
Matty cried out, the angle perfect. “I’m gonna come so fast,” Matty warned.
“That’s okay,” Rob said. “I want you to.”
Matty took hold of his own dick as Rob kissed his neck and ear, and when he was close he let go. “Tell me you love me.”
Rob rubbed his face against Matty’s hair and then said with a shaking, thready voice, “I love you, Matty Marcus. I love every damn thing about you.”
Rob’s thrusts were steady and strong, driving into Matty. He shifted Matty’s top leg forward which opened his ass, and Rob forced the last inch of his cock in, buried to the root. Matty cursed under his breath.
“Be loud for me,” Rob said. “Let me hear you.”
Matty obeyed as his lust and love flow and rush through him, coming out in cries and gasps, until he begged for orgasm, begged to come.
“Stroke yourself,”Rob ordered.
Matty moved his hand fast over his own cock desperately. Rob bit down on his shoulder and then licked it. He was so close and he gripped Rob’s flexing ass with his other hand. “Please, please,” he whispered.
Rob pumped faster and harder, and when Matty came, it was blinding and breathtaking. His body arched back onto Rob’s dick, holding him deep. Matty spasmed and jerked, come shooting in an arc across the bed.
Rob let loose and pounded into Matty’s clenching ass. Matty gripped his forearms fiercely and shook in Rob’s arms, encouraging him, calling out his love. Rob groaned, held Matty’s body tightly, and buried his face in Matty’s neck as he came, his cock twitching and throbbing in Matty’s ass.
As they caught their breath, Rob pulled out slowly, leaving Matty feeling satiated and a little bereft. Until Rob gathered him in his arms, and kissed his face, his mouth, his ear, his shoulder, and all the skin he could reach.
“Remember this,” Matty said, hoping Rob understood. “Forget the rest, all the parts that hurt, okay? Just remember this.”
Rob nuzzled Matty’s damp hair. “I promise.”
As you can see, it’s a perfectly fine sex scene. It just wasn’t right for these characters and the way they interact with each other. I’m very happy with the reunion sex that made it into the book. I wanted to share, though, how sometimes, as an author, you just have to scrap a scene you took hours and hours to write. It’s just never going to work right.
Thanks to Jed and Keira for making it clear to me that the above scene needed replaced/cut. You guys are awesome!